My Life, My Heart

Yet another day

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 22:57:21 GMT

This whole month has been pretty hard. I have been so tired. I take care of my two kids, my cat, my bird , my mom ( she is disabled) and if I dont have an appointment I am helping my mom . I love her dearly and do not mind helping her. It is just very hard. Everytime I try to talk about this I feel like it makes me sound very selfish. I feel bad because I am torn. I never get any time to myself, to sit and eat, to watch a tv show, to date, to do anything that someone single my age would be doing. I feel like a robot sometimes with the kids I am mom and they need this and want that and I completly understand. With my mom I am daughter and she needs this or that . But where does Cathy fit in? I feel like I am not even a person anymore. I dont have time to take out a half hour for myself because when I do I am so exausted I just fall asleep. I have to figure out something. I cant keep doing this all the time. I need a vacation! lol

What Do You Have To Say? - Fashion: On The Set

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 19:51:29 GMT

Which movies have the best costumes and scene sets?

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I would have to say "Thirteen Ghosts" .. The costumes were wild and the Scene sets was just amazing... A glass house.... How cool!

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 19:44:20 GMT

I made this video for my daughter who we just found out has some mental health issues. I feel so guilty as her mother. I have two children and both were sticken with my disease. Both of my children are so beautiful, I know how much of a stuggle they are going to have as they grow older because I have felt the same thing. Everything is a constant stuggle, worry, concern. It is very hard when you have mental illness to cope and live your daily life but it is even harder when u are a parent who has mental disorders and have two children with mental disorders. I am alone. The support I have comes from councelers. I have no family, none who want to be around me because they dont understand. I have no friends.. at my age it seems like if you dont want kids and if you dont drink, which I cant due to medication then u just dont fit in. That is how I have felt all my life.. Like I dont fit in. I just want to be accepted for me. Is that so much to ask?